dancebear8504 blogging at
4-5 months 12-17-05 11:49
they change everything.
In that amount of time, my definition of myself has changed. dramatically. my friend-scape has changed completely, and my thoughts about the future have been turned upside down.
In August, I was sad to leave Omaha, not sure what St. Chuck had in store for me this year, and not sure if I was really ready to go back. I was still hung up on Ben, and cried that I couldn't tell him good-bye when I left town. But coming back, I passed places that reminded me of Ben, like Pizza Street, and I just smiled, and hoped that someday perhaps we could be friends again. This summer and semster definitely changed me, but these last months. woah.
My friends.. it's been strange. I still consider Lizz, Liz and Angela great friends because they always will be.. but I can't remember the last time we really talked.. you know? But I still love them and would be there for them, and I know it swings both ways, but, you know. Stephanie, she's always been great at talking, I don't deserve her. But, you know? I mean, it's changed. Lynsey and Donna and Abby... they're the girls that have helped me through everything. I realized this when my mom called me about my great-grandma dying, and Donna dropped everything when she saw that my eyes were forming tears and came and hugged me. Then, Lynsey came home 2 seconds later and just started hugging me. It really showed me how much we've all grown (and I'm sure Abby would have to, if she'd still been there). Those girls mean everything to me. I guess that saying about 'high school friends are your best friends but friends you make in college are your friends for life' is true. It makes sense. They knew what to say to help me when my parents almost got divorced, and even helped me get over Justin and kept me awake those nights before tests. :-)
(sorry, that sounded soo corny!)
which brings me to my last point. my future.
Could I have made things ANY harder for myself? Where do I want to live when I grow up? Where do I want to try to teach? Pros and Cons:
St. Louis Pros:
*Lynsey, Donna, Abby, maybe my future husband???
* much, much better pay for teaching
* I love the city, it's amazing
*Only 6 hours away from mom, not toooo many
St. Louis Cons:
* my mom is in Omaha
* my brother is in Omaha (hopefully eventually)
*4th most dangerous city in America (thinking about my kids)

Omaha Pros:
* my mom, and family, friends
* Omaha North High School
* better town to raise a family

Omaha Cons:
* no lynsey, donna and abby
* not as good shopping

See what I mean? tough stuff. But, I've got like, 5 more semesters left at least - to decide my biggest decision ever.

okay, i've spent way too long at the computer, I should go do something productive.
12-04-05 21:23
Little Know Facts About Chuck Norris.

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
11-29-05 10:07
hello all.
it's been a while. i apologize..if you care.
i need to get my tongue barbell changed, it's starting to hurt the underside of my mouth.
i'm sitting in the Young computer lab.. waiting for daniel to get out of class, so i can say hi-bye!
he has an interview with the Y in an hour, i'm excited for's nice to be with someone who is seriously driven, almost like me..but not quite, cuz i'm just crazy.
yes, we're together together. :-D
i'm sleepy today, but i got up for work! AND physics! i might not have to take the physics final - that would be amazing!!! :-D
i had a good time in Omaha, for Thanksgiving break.
but, I feel like it's my vacation home sometimes, you know? i feel like this place is MY home. strange. stange indeed.
I love the Huskers. I facebooked a few players and confessed that love, they haven't messaged me back, haha.
There's a girl in here talking the the police department about somebody hiding their guilt.. crazy. I don't really know.
His birthday is this weekend. I have decided what to do. Should I live by an eye for an eye? or, just be civil and nice? I don't know. I'll probably lean toward civil and nice, but not akward. no phone. he'd probably come through it and kill me.
I thought I lost my roommate, but I found her this morning, when I had to leave for physics. But, she had to go to work, so I hope we can talk sometime soon, I'm sure we have a TON to catch up on.
It was good seeing Abby and Donna last night. :-) They are awesome. I wish I could've sat around with them longer and talked, hopefully soon we can do that. I was a little stressed last night. I stayed out until 3.. I had to leave for work at 6.. welcome home steph! "I'm glad to be back!"
Okie dokie. I think that's it.

Have a WONDERFUL tuesday everyone!
me, then and now

5 years ago...

How old were you?

What grade were you in?
a sophomore

Where did you go to school?
Omaha North High School

Where did you work?
Donna’s School of Dance Arts

Where did you live?
Omaha, NE

Where did you hang out?
Lizz’s house, my house, ben’s house

How was your hair style?
I don’t really remember.. blonde and medium-to-long length

Did you wear braces?

Did you wear glasses?
yes (contacts)

Who was your best friend?

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Who was your celebrity crush?
that’s hard…. I don’t remember… Eve 6 lead singer

Who was your regular-person crush?

How many piercings did you have?

How many tattoos did you have?

What was your favorite band?
eve 6

What was your biggest fear?
being single and without friends

Had you smoked a cigarette yet?

Had you gotten drunk or high yet?

Had you driven yet?

Which of your pets were still alive?
zoe, princess (I think)


How old are you?

What grade are you in?
college sophomore

Where do you go to school?
Lindenwood University

Where do you work?
Blockbuster, YMCA, Lindenwood Work & Learn

Where do you live?
St. Charles (9 months out of the year)

Where do you hang out?
in my dorm, around campus

What is your hair style?
brunette and long

Do you wear braces?

Do you wear glasses?
Yes (contacts)

Who is your best friend?
Lynsey, Donna, Abby, Jaclyn, Stephanie.. I can’t choose one. lol

Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?
singlin’ and minglin’

Who is your celebrity crush?
Orlando bloom

Who is your regular-person crush?
Luke and Sean

How many piercings do you have?
12 (newest one: tongue)

How many tattoos do you have?

What is your favorite band?
Eve 6, incubus, lifehouse, etc

What is your biggest fear?
the next 5 years (but they are also the ones I’m looking the most forward to!) and heights

Do you smoke?

Do you get drunk or high?
I’ve gotten drunk.. not high

Do you drive?

Which of your pets are still alive?
I don’t have any

Did you know the person who posted this right before you?
10-29-05 22:58
have you ever felt like you've lost some of the most important people in your life... on accident? and that... no matter what, it's not going to be the same, ever again? and it's nobody's fault it's just called growing up? 6 hours changes a lot of things... some good, but some sad or bad.

i'm sorry.
10-28-05 23:19
sitting around.. decided to make a post, a meaningful one, or one that was me actually journaling.. not surveying!

Well, these past couple weeks have been HARD, holy crap. lots of shit piled on top of each other. Too many tests and papers and practices and matrix's and blah blah blah. Tuesday, though, it will alll be over, for about 2 days, phew! Actually, I don't know when it will start up again, but I vow to stay on top of my reading these last units, this unit in history I pretty much slacked, woops.. i'll study it some other time, so.. meh. History test monday, english paper tuesday.. after that? what? early bday celebration? every night party? HOPEFULLY! woot woot! lynsey promised some good ol' craziness! :-D I'm excited!! I need to relax next weekend because these past two weekends have sucked.. really.. bad.
Oh, and registration for spring 06 is in 2 weeks... and guess what Stephani has figured out? o, she's not graduating in spring 08, it's impossible. damn near impossible to graduate in 4 years with a concentration of:
history (secondary AND middle school education)
social studies minor
dance minor
but, you ask, is it all necessary? yes, yes it is. teaching is a hard job to get, especially history it seems, so yea, I gotta have all those credentials - i've even been considering getting certified in special ed.. but, I think that'll be a no-go.Bridget and I love each other, but I don't know if I could do what I do with her a career, you know? Because that would be the first thing I would get hired for, almost guaranteed. But, yea, Basically, I MIGHT get outta here in 5 years... if I keep going with jterm (and i will) and take overload a few semesters.. like, the next one. shit. So, Lynsey and I have been talking about summer classes.. and how I could stay on campus for free over the summer and get one class paid for, if I work for work and learn 40 hours a week. but, holy crap.. then when would i work for actual money? so, I think that idea is fading for me.. but I know I need to do something this summer too... I need to save up. Plus, I can't stay in STL over the summer, i wouldn't see my big-o, or my momma.. and i need to see her. and i need to see everyone. and I need to make money. alot of money. alot. I'm very thankful that I have the chance to work both jobs now. I'm trying to make my schedule work so that I can work even more hours at the Y, and stay at blockbuster like i am now... it would be amazing! This weekend is good because I got paid today (friday) and i'm getting paid on monday! woot woot! i'm happy! but, I CAN'T spend it! ahh!! it'll be hard - have you been to payless or gordman's or tj maxx or kohl's lately? :-( but, i'm a grownup now, I have to save money. lol. ugh.

one AWESOME thing i'm looking forward to???? STEPHANIE!!!!!!!!! and HARRY POTTER!! omg, it's gonna be great!! i can't wait to show her st. chuck and LU and everything around! and we're gonna see harry potter with a lotta people at the IMAX! :-D delightful!

okay, i should go to sleep... 1:30 football game tomorrow.. go lions!
and go 'skers!
stolen from lizz. 10-23-05 13:14
passing the time and ignorning homework!

10 firsts:

first boyfriend/girlfriend: REAL one.. ben johnson
first best friend: Melissa Herschlag
first screen name: sk8rkhik (skater chic.. )
first kiss: greg peters
first piercings: ears… 4 years old-ish
first crush: steven pratt
first music: I believe.. my first tape was New Kids On the Block and my last tape was Janet Jackson Runaway… first CD – Boyz to Men
first car: Mercury Tracer
first stuffed animal: sadly, I don’t really remember

9 lasts:

last cigarette: cigarillo… first weekend of school
last alchoholic beverage: last night
last kiss: about… 12 hours ago. (3 am)
last movie seen: very beginning of Batman Begins
last phone call: with Lynsey
last cd played: Eminem Encore
last bubble bath: it’s been a while…. This summer
last time you cried: umm… last weekend.
last date: well…. I dunno, depends…

8 have you evers:
have you ever dated one of your best friends: yea, I think so
have you ever skinny dipped: no..
have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: ummm… no.
have you ever fallen in love: yes
have you ever lost someone you loved: yes
have you ever been depressed: yea
have you ever woken up and not known where you were: oops… yea.

7 places you've been to:
1. cancun, Mexico
2. Hollywood, CA
3. Toronto, Canada
4. Disneyworld!
5. Minneapolis, Minnesota
6. Denver, CO
7. Virginia Beach, Virginia

6 things you've done today:
1. researched sex and the city
2. got wet in the rain
3. went to brunch with donna
4. talked to Lynsey about my scandalous night
5. showered
6. thought about justin

5 favorite things in NO order:
1. girly awesome chats with Lynsey and donna
1. having a relaxing drink
1. spooning
1. sneaking in….
1. sleeping in

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to:
1. lynsey
2. donna
3. steph
4. mom

3 wishes
1. that life doesn’t pass me by
2. stay un-stressed
3. get outta college alive in FOUR years

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. volunteer in Africa
2. have a family

1 thing you regret:
1. not seeing what wasn’t there sooner.
thought this was cute! 10-18-05 15:52
You may not know this, but many non-living things have a gender.

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
10-17-05 22:03
its been so long 10-16-05 22:29
so, i haven't ever really dated.. i've always just been with basically one guy in my dating lifetime, so...

i'm with justin.. and we're 'exclusively dating' but... does that mean we're "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship stuff? or... what? i don't know! help.
o, but don't worry, it's a great dilemma/question... and i'm very happy to be asking it! :-D edit: question just got answered.. i have a boyfriend! :-D ::blushing::
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